I’d like to go into the first letter of this acronym a little more deeply.  The C stands for care or commitment.  I’d like to talk more about what it means to Care in relationship.

Care is a two way exchange in any relationship whether it is business or personal.  One of the most fundamental aspects of being in relationship with another is that we want to know that the other cares about us.

Care however, starts with the SELF.  I often found myself in relationships with others that did not reflect who I really am.  My greatest fear was what if I’m really not worthy of someone treating me with respect, kindness, sincerity, etc.  I must be a bad person if I am attracting those types of people into my life.  I realized through determination and raw courage that I needed to look behind the curtain of my own dark side in order to understand what I felt about myself and therefore projected out to others and received in return.

I discovered that over the years growing up I somehow interpreted messages from my environment that I was not worthy or a good enough human being to even exist on the planet.  I took everything that was said and done to me to heart whether it was true or not.  Aside from my peers everyone else was an authority so why shouldn’t I believe them?

I would meet the very people that validated those things too.  Yet, there would be others that came into my life that would attempt to persuade me that I was a loving, caring, generous, kind, thoughtful person, all the things we all want to be seen as.  Those people I would not believe although I wanted to so badly.  I yearned to believe.

Belief was not enough.  No matter how much I would change this or that behavior to appease those I wanted to be in relationship with, I wondered why things weren’t changing.  The change in me had to be experienced at a deeper level.  I realized that I had to do the hard and sometimes painful work to get to the TRUTH.  I’ve come to know that real transformation can only happen at a cellular level.

My life began to change and my relationships began to change as I invested in myself and learned that no one was going to CARE about me or for me before I cared about me first.  I experienced deep inside that I really was all those nice things that others saw in me and that it was a more natural way of Being.  Many things happened as a result of this deep change, one being that I didn’t need anyone to validate what I felt or experienced.  I became more confident and clearer in knowing what relationships were right for me and which ones were not.   I began to really know what CARE for another human being was really about from a more real and authentic place.

It takes Self knowing and caring to be able to truly care about and for another.

Take care of yourself and I’ll see you next time…

Carol Pilkington

Transformational Trainer


First Tuesday About First Tuesday

First Tuesday is a Professional and Social Network for Extraordinary Women. Gatherings are held in private homes or public venues on the first Tuesday of each month. Each evening includes unstructured social time, dinner, networking and a program on subjects that span the mind, body and spirit. Newcomers are welcome to join us!

Leave a Comment