What matters?

Last night I heard a friend had passed away.  She was my age.  After two months of surgery and great pain, the cancer got the best of her.

As we spoke of her and the progression of her illness over cups of tea, the thing that struck me most was a story of how in her last days of delirium she played melodies in the air.  That visual, fingers moving in the shadows, playing a Mozart Concerto was hauntingly beautiful, and terribly painful.

For the questions rise up, as they always do, when we are reminded that life in this body is such a finite gift.  They are difficult questions thatlee require we look inside and examine the choices we’ve made, the importance we place.

As this brilliant, kind, generous, beautiful woman played her final song I wanted to know “What mattered?  What mattered?”

How many times have we gone into tizzies over meaningless (meaningless!) things?  How often have we shut someone out of our lives for a perceived insult?

How often have we puttered away hours upon hours upon hours on some distraction or other?  Or thinking that what mattered was the brass ring, the applause, the bank account, the notches on a belt, the number of friends on facebook…

How often have we wasted this irreplaceable resource – time?

We all have our own journey to walk, our own path to forge.  I do not pretend to know what is the ‘right’ way to live a life.   I can commit only to the questioning – and answering as truthfully as possible for myself.

What is it that matters? Truly matters.

Have I made the choices that support my Soul?

Have I opened my heart and trusted?

Have I dared?

At the end of the day, I believe it is all perfect, though we may not understand the meaning at the time. I have found great solace in the belief that there are no ‘wrong’ choices.  Though we may not like the outcome, they are all part of our life lesson.  And how often, when we are not paying attention, life has a way of setting us straight.

So as this sweet Soul now dances freely beyond her mortal coil, I am blessed for the knowing her.  Her thread woven indelibly with mine.  And I am grateful for her gift, the reminder, that to those who loved her, She mattered.


Marianne Simon









Dr. Marcy Cole About Dr. Marcy Cole

Born and Raised in West Palm Beach, Florida. BS from Northwestern University, majoring in Radio/TV/Film and Communication Studies. Worked as a Television Executive for Katz Communications, Received a Masters in Clinical Social Work from Loyola University in Chicago and a Doctorate at the Institute for Clinical Social work. I've been in private practice as a Holistic Psychotherapist for the past 18 years working with adolescents, adults, couples and families. Workshop Facilitator, Corporate Consultant, and Speaker. Best selling Co-Author of "Living Proof … Celebrating the Gifts that Come Wrapped in Sand Paper" and "Get Your Woman On … Embracing Beauty, Grace and the Power of Women". Founder of First Tuesday LA, and Founder and Executive Director of CMomA.org, offering support to childless single women and couples who seek to adopt children in need.

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